Canadian Humorist
Mike Browne

Mike has taken up residency in his own little corner of the Web. His creative work comes in many forms and is always growing. He still doesn't know what medium his favourite, so he has been actively trying out as many as he can. His levity and general wackiness' is like daffodils on a dull day. He brightens our cyber world.

Lord of Lunch
Getting to the bottom of Mike Browne's lunch box.

I laced up my cyber boots and headed off with my packed lunch, to far off Canada, to speak with Mike Browne, the undisputed Lord of Lunch, and spy in his lunchbox. This is what I unearthed.
Heather Blakey

What can you tell me about the lunches you eat Mike?

Pathetically sparse like something a homeless man might get from a soup kitchen. After I began scanning the quality improved dramatically as Carol didn't want to be embarrassed by my luncheon exposť. That is one of the reasons that I continued as long as I did. Yes, sheer desperation.

Now be honest Mike! Who makes the best lunches?

Honestly? Carol does. When time constraints are few and her usual apathy has abated somewhat, I get lunches I truly love. It's like bubblewrap for the soul having someone you love make your lunch.

I won't tell many people! Did you ever slip across the street with your mates to the fish and chip shop?

There's no fish and chip shop nearby (I would weigh 900 lbs and look like Meat Loaf if there were). I do go out for sushi, pasta and/or a burger now and again.

Just slip into the confessional Mike! Is there a lunch that still haunts you?

Actually, there are two years worth of lunches that haunt me. I was going to college for architectural drafting (long story) in Middleton, Nova Scotia. I was boarding with a family in Middleton as my home town of Bridgewater is 60 miles away. My landlady made my lunch every day. It was terrible. She made things like peanut butter and banana sandwiches (the two combined are hideous), mystery meat surprise and other things I'd rather not discuss as the trauma returns even now. Instead of confronting her and upsetting the proverbial applecart I hid the offending lunches under the seat of my car and in my school locker. A bio containment unit from the CDC was probably called in to decontaminate my locker upon my departure.

So what do you have for lunch these days Mike?

The best way for me to tell you is to show you:

Tuna salad sandwich, some unwashed carrots and a blemished banana. It's a lunch.

Were there any family jokes about what you liked to eat?

Yes. My mom used to call me Garbage Guts. If it was bad for you (and edible)
I ate it.

You too can become a
Lunch Box Spy